Love In The Place I Love.

Like I've said time and time again, love is not a simple idea. It's messy, complicated, but at most, absolutely beautiful. 5 months ago I was on my way to Poland, as a family visit. I came back to Canada with my heart completely caught on fire for someone I thought I would never be with. Today, to my surprise I am sitting next to the love of my life in Poland. I went through many moments of turmoil while preparing for my move to Poland. Whether it was family, friends , or even just my own mind working against me. It all comes from the good of our hearts. But unfortunately it's fear that I've concluded, I have very little patience for. We want good for others, but sometimes it's out of fear that they might do something better than us, accomplish more. Sometimes it's fear that the comfort with feel will be torn a part and ripped away. Other times, it's fear that we won't love again. Coming from a woman who has had her heart broken not only from significant others, but friends and family too; trust me, you will love again. You will meet someone again. You will feel that fire, again. I wish I could explain in better words , how important it is to do and be unapologetically. I may not have the street smarts here in Poland yet, but I have a heart of gold and a mind ready to take on much more than 16 year old Nicole. We're all just learning, and although I say I'm here with the love of my life, I've accepted that it always feels that way with many things in life. And that this will be it, or maybe one day it will be a whole other book, let alone chapter. I am not worried right now my loves. I am not overthinking nor being dumb in the way I'm directing my decisions. I am me, like I always have been. I've always been more than ok in the end, even when plans went the complete opposite than what I had oh so beautifully painted in my heart and mind.

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Love is extraordinary. My love for this land is beyond me, because I've spent my entire life in Canada and never really felt like it was home. After spending such little time in Poland, I am in awe with the feeling I get when I walk down these streets and take it all in. It won't be the easier life style for me, but this is what my heart was calling and I took it on full force. The love I have coming my way from every angle , from friends and family is , just incredible. It's a smothering that I am grateful for every moment of my existence on this earth. I lay in bed and think about all the little things, and how much they matter to me. From the birthday cards, to the late night hugs with a weeping Nicole on your shoulder. I am here for it all, I feel it all x1000. Thank you, for giving me the love that I not only needed, but wanted and dreamt of all my years growing up. Lastly, my love for you, is constant, It will always be. Although it's not always easy, you've got me for life.

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As I continue my journey here for now,

I am enjoying every stressful moment, and every smile. This is the real me, if you're on board, I'd love to see you back here in a week to read more into my mind.

xoxo,

SunshineDealer