Time To Get Rid Of The," What If"

Welcome back, I am feeling extraordinarily uplifted today Sunshines. It must be your support shining through the clouds in my life!

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An old friend of mine has inspired my post tonight. And I'll explain exactly why they did, at the very end of this post. Growing up, I lived all over Canada. I went to thirteen different elementary schools, and two highschools. Must be the reason I'm as social as I am today. I used to resent my parents for making me start all over again, as a kid I had a hard time fitting in. I was always off doing something completely different from what everyone else was doing. Singing, writing, creating any type of art that I felt like in the moment. I remember in grade 4 I brought some cheap makeup set from claires to the playground, and I started putting lip gloss on and eye shadow. To me it was fun, like painting, but your face is the canvas. I vividly remember the girls coming up to me, laughing at what I was doing. But here's the best part about something small like that, I didn't care back then, and still don't care today. People are always going to talk. Even when you're doing nothing but great things with your time, there will always be that one person to rain on your parade. I understood as a young child, that I just wanted to be me. No apologies or changes. I didn't want to be a follower, I wanted to show other kids my age too that just because someone else is doing something, it doesn't neccessarily mean its the right way for everyone. Thinking back now, I really thought I was mentally ahead of everyone huh?-- Maybe I was viewed as strange growing up, but those who got to know me well, knew I just had a different outlook on life. Until now, It sure hasn't changed. And I don't see it changing anytime soon. Simply put, I can't comprehend why something is "unattainable." Why couldn't I put on makeup for fun as a child? Or make up dance routines in the middle of the field instead of playing soccer? Why can't I, move cities just for fun and for the experience? Why can't I take a year off school to regain focus on myself? And mostly, why does it matter so much to others? -- If something makes you happy, go for it. If you're unsure about something because "not everyone does it" , go for it! If you've been waiting a long time to talk to your crush, do it tomorrow. I'm not exaggerating when I say you'll truly regret the what if moments in your life. You have to learn how to unapologetically be yourself, and stop letting others decide your future. We all do it, whether we notice or not. But I think it's time to cut the thread. Explain to those in your life, that they can either support you, or it's their loss if they can't put their own issues aside to be happy for you. If I didn't move provinces, I would still be in Edmonton asking myself, " What if it would've been fun?" or, "What if I'm missing out on something incredible?". At least now, I know. You can't be scared of bad things happening, because those things also contribute to the amazing person you can be, if you allow them to work in positive ways rather than negative. The unexpectancy of life is what makes it beautiful, and if we don't start grasping instead of hiding, our lives won't be as fulfilling as I know they can do.

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The friend of mine I mentioned earlier, told me today how great it is that I'm still me. That everyone changes so much, but I am me. And I can't express enough how much those simple words meant to me. Being recognized for being me, when I've been judged for it many times, just melted something in my heart in the best way. If you ever get around to reading this post, thank you for that. It was definitely something I needed to hear today. :)

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Until next time, Xoxo SunshineDealer.