Where Has It Gone?

friend·ship

/ˈfren(d)SHip/ noun the emotions or conduct of friends; the state of being friends. a relationship between friends. plural noun: friendships "she formed close friendships with women"synonyms:relationship, friendly relationship, close relationship, attachment, mutual attachment, alliance, association, close association, bond, tie, link, union; More a state of mutual trust and support between allied nations.

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BOND/MUTUAL TRUST/SUPPORT.

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I think between growing up, and being at a state in your life where we truly understand deep meaningful relationships, there is trauma and growth. From fighting over a simple toy, to arguing over serious topics in which there is no one person to blame. From the early stage of our life, we are taught to communicate and resolve. Although, at a certain age it begins to become repetative and we lose the desire to heal our wounds with others, because it's easier to stay in bad blood than to have the hard conversations. Many feel as though their vulnerablility is something to keep hidden, while others feel it is the open door to healthy relationships. With those years of experience, we enter adulthood assuming we know a few things here and there, that we know how to navigate a person and their emotions. If only we could go back in time, and tell ourselves that the human being is this detailed flower that flourishes in many different ways. Not one person can be "figured out", completely. And although we'd like to tell ourselves that we know someone like the back of our hand, evidently we do not. It's funny how we tend to get offended when others presume they know our friends better than we do. When in reality, maybe they really did see a side of that person that we had never. Or maybe experienced a moment of chemistry, simply different from yours. Envy. Intertwines with 2 parts of our theme here today, bond and mutual trust. Jealously is a deadly snake that slithers perfectly between two hearts. It removes the space where you can comfortably share significant moments, whether it be through laughter, a cry, or joy. It leaves resentment in its place. And soon after, trust is questioned. It's distorted, and the snake encourages the flares of anger and frustration, It thrives off the drama and hardships. Jealously is something I have been talking about for years, before I even really understood it. I saw how it tore apart family members, and how friendships around me would fall apart. I always had the toughest of times, comprehending why we couldn't all be together in peace. And now, in my early adult years I still struggle with the concept of cutting people off based on one argument, inconvenient moment, broken promise, heartbreak. The one thing i've truthfull learned is that anger fades away. Then we sit in our memories, and pitty ourselves for not making it better when we could have. My biggest question in life sometimes, is why we can't just pick up the phone and call. Take a walk, and show up. Why do we put these barriers on ourselves, from mending relationships. In some cases relationships are toxic, ofcourse. --but that topic is for another time-- I know with myself, I tend to see the better in a situation and sometimes its a curse more so than a blessing. But in most cases, I look at it in a way where it's not worth it. It's not worth losing a deep connection with someone, over something that can realisically be worked through. I really do believe we can make it through anything, we are built to know and live out forgiveness. I personally know people, who have lived their entire lives holding on to bad memories, and allowing that negativity to cause a domino effect with everyone in their life. And you know what, it's a lack of communication. Everyone's mind is unique, we all cope differently. If communicated better, we'd be able to understand and support one another in a much better way. I find that we settle with the belief that we don't grow, evolve, or reflect. In my eyes mutual trust and support is one of the lost treasures in the world today. Fixation on betrayal and disharmony has become entirely common,-- worse, an epidemic.

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In conclusion, my heart is in havoc. I'm not sure where true friendship has lost it's authenticity. But I pray that even just the simple definition of friendship, will spark conversation for some. And for those who don't mind living in a broken world of love, I hope someday they come across someone who is filled with absolute light and love in their heart to maybe awaken something beyond us in them.

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Xoxo, SunshineDealer.